Hats Off to Single Moms

The last three days have been DH's first business trip since DS was born 10 weeks ago -- he returns tonight. I have to say, I don't know how the single moms, especially those with more than one child, do it. Just handling bedtime for both kids the last two nights has worn me out. I've had a helper two afternoons, and DD's been at preschool two mornings, and I'm pooped. And I'm not even bringing in an income! If I were, I guess I'd have some kid-free time with the kids at day care, but then there wouldn't be any nap opportunities. Oy.

On the other hand, this has been an excellent exercise in time management. It reminds me of 1996, when I started training for triathlons. I needed to fit in six training sessions per week, two in each sport, and my life already felt chock-full. (I was single and living alone with my two cats then -- I had NO IDEA what a full life was like, my friends.) But I found that having that high-priority, time-intensive commitment forced the rest of my life to fall into place as it never had before. Suddenly I was keeping my house cleaner, eating more healthy meals, getting to bed on time -- things that had been really hard to do before.

There is immense power, for me, in realizing that I have little or no slack in my schedule. I look at what I want or need to do, all of it high-priority, and how tightly it fits into my 24 hours per day. And then I realize that I can either get my s*** together, or I can watch the wheels fall off my life. Business-trip SAHM-hood with two kids triggers the getting-the-s***-together response. I'm eating well, getting the chores done, taking care of the kids (albeit with less quality time for each than I'd like because there's no DH to trade off with, and thank goodness no one's sick...), and getting almost enough sleep. And these things often don't happen as well when DH is around. Of course, when he's around I get more slack, and that slack can feel sanity-saving.

I guess it's time to take another look at what sanity means to me. Time for hobbies and lazy time with the kids, or healthy meals and an orderly house? Of course it's a balance of both. But noticing how good it feels to have the kitchen clean every evening is an eye-opener about how much the orderly house part figures in. It's as if the clean kitchen and cleared floors are a symbol to me, each night alone, that I can do this after all. It's hard, but it's not impossible, and my own character flaws, daunting though they may seem, aren't enough to put it out of reach.

My hat is off to those who pull it off, day after day.